


The Impersonation Game

by FrenchKey, JayofOlympus



Series: WinterHawk Bingo 2019 [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Costume Parties & Masquerades, Costume Swap, Fluff, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, yes we know it's march
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrenchKey/pseuds/FrenchKey, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayofOlympus/pseuds/JayofOlympus
Summary: ‘Alright, we’ve got T minus twenty six minutes until the party starts,’ Bucky said. ‘All we have to do is stay alive until then. If we can do that, we’re gold.’Bucky and Clint are meant to be at a costume party. Getting there in one piece is a little more difficult than either of them anticipated.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Series: WinterHawk Bingo 2019 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1635295
Comments: 13
Kudos: 53
Collections: Winterhawk Bingo





	The Impersonation Game

**Author's Note:**

> This fills square G3 - Cap!Bucky/Hawkeye for our WinterHawk Bingo. Hope you enjoy the shenanigans!

Clint’s giggling was supremely unhelpful, given that they were hiding in a closet, avoiding certain death.

‘Would you shut it?’ Bucky hissed. ‘We’re gonna get caught.’

Clint smothered another giggle in his hand. ‘I’m sorry…’ he huffed, trying to get himself under control. ‘You just look so ridiculous.’

Bucky looked him up and down in the dim light of the single bulb. ‘Like you’re so much better?’ he huffed.

‘Excuse me!? I put time and effort and care into this costume. You just waltzed down to the dollar store and bought the crappiest outfit you could find.’

‘Yeah, cause it’ll drive Stevie nuts,’ Bucky said.

They both froze suddenly as they heard a door banging somewhere in the distance. They caught each other's eyes and Bucky winced. Clint pointed up and made a questioning face. Bucky gave a sharp nod, and boosted Clint up so he could remove the vent cover.

‘Why am I going first?’ Clint asked as he climbed into the vent. ‘It’s ‘cause you wanna stare at my ass, isn’t it? I know it’s a really nice ass, but we’re kinda in hot water here, and if you’re keeping that shield on you we’re gonna need you to go first so I can help you out if you get stuck.’

‘I’m not gonna get stuck,’ Bucky growled. Another door banged, this one closer. ‘Just go, Barton. We’re not exactly in a defensible position here.’

Bucky watched as Clint shimmied into the tight space, his wide shoulders making it just as difficult for him. The company floors didn’t have very accessible vents, and Clint had biceps to kill for. He had an ass to kill for too; he’d been right about that. It looked especially nice in a skin tight purple bodysuit.

Bucky pulled himself up into the vents after Clint. As he wriggled, a yelp reverberated around the space; some poor SI employee getting startled.

‘Where are they?!’ Steve growled, a little closer to the closet than Bucky was happy with.

‘Move! Move! Move!’ he hissed, smacking Clint in the calf to try to spur him on.

Clint let out a high pitched squeak and they heard Steve’s footsteps thundering closer. 

‘Shit!’ Clint hissed, wriggling forward an inch or two at a time. Bucky was almost all the way in, just the toes of one foot still dangling, when the closet door burst open below them. 

‘Get back here, asshole!’ Steve bellowed, swiping at Bucky’s foot.

Bucky yelped and tugged his foot in, out of the way. ‘Go go go go go!’

Steve was still yelling incoherently after them as they crawled away. Luckily, his big dumb shoulders were even bigger than Clint’s, and there was no way for him to actually fit in the vents to come after them.

They wriggled and slithered and climbed until they finally reached the wider vents of the common areas. 

‘He’ll expect us to go to your rooms,’ Bucky murmured, hoping the sound wouldn’t carry. He knew Steve would have had a chance to get ahead of them and he didn’t want to get caught yet. They only had to make it another half hour until the party started. 

‘Well, he lives with you, so yours aren’t a great idea either,’ Clint hissed back, looking a little ruffled and not dissimilar to Alpine after he’d been forced into the bath. 

‘We might be safe in the kitchen?’ Bucky suggested. There were likely to be lots of people they could hide behind, at least. Thor wouldn’t let Steve kill them. Thor was nice like that.

‘Jesus, this wig keeps slipping,’ Clint huffed, blowing hair out of his mouth again. ‘How does Nat deal with these things?’

Bucky stopped crawling for a moment to sigh. ‘You forgot the hair pins didn’t you?’

Clint paused. ‘I forgot the hair pins,’ he said. ‘I need hair pins.’

‘How did you forget?’ Bucky asked. ‘You help Nat with their hair and wigs for missions all the goddamn time. How?’

Clint turned round to pout at Bucky. ‘Because I’m an idiot?’ he suggested.

‘You are. You absolutely are. And I’m not kissin’ you while you’re all dolled up to look like Kate, so you can stop with the face and get with the crawlin’.’

Clint huffed but started moving again. It was much easier to navigate the vents on the Avengers’ floors. Tony had specifically overhauled them as soon as he realised that Clint liked to retreat to them when he was stressed or upset or sometimes just to cause a little chaos. They were also incredibly useful in the event of a villainous invasion, as Clint could use them to get around and pop out in unusual places to shoot intruders, often also in unusual places.

‘Okay, if we drop out from the vent beside Pepper’s room on Tony’s floor, we can make a run for her bathroom and I can grab some pins,’ Clint said, wiggling his hips a little more than necessary. ‘After that, back into the vents and down to the communal kitchen.’

‘Alright, we’ve got T minus twenty six minutes until the party starts,’ Bucky said. ‘All we have to do is stay alive until then. If we can do that, we’re gold.’

The pin heist went off without a hitch and Clint adjusted his wig so that it stopped sliding around on his head. They made it back into the vents without being spotted and headed for the kitchen. They could hear Thor’s booming laughter and Darcy’s high giggles as they approached. They paused over the vent cover, peering around and listening carefully. Clint flashed a thumbs up and the two of them dropped down into the kitchen, landing lightly.

‘Put your hands up and I’ll consider sparing your balls.’

Their hands went up immediately as they took in the sight of Kate, dressed as Catwoman, aiming a nerf arrow right at Clint’s crotch. Bucky winced and took a step away.

‘You look ridiculous,’ she said, eyeing them both up critically. ‘A cheap onesie, Barnes? You can do better. And, as for you, Clinton Francis Barton, those boobs aren’t even. Now give me my glasses back and go fix your boobs.’

‘Yeah, you look like a bleedin’ Picasso,’ Darcy added, cackling to herself over whatever reference she’d just made. Clint shot her a betrayed look.

Bucky sidled off to hide behind Thor while Kate was dressing Clint down. Clint wilted at her words and turned to Bucky for support, only to find him gone.

‘But the aviators are iconic?’ Clint tried, throwing some puppy eyes at Kate.

She remained unmoved.

Clint dejectedly pulled Kate’s sunglasses off and held them out. She took them with a smile reminiscent of a shark. Bucky remained, as ever, terrified of what she could accomplish if she ever decided to turn against them.

‘Here,’ she said, pulling a soft case out of her pocket, ‘Wear these. They’re knock offs so I’m not gonna care if you break them once you’re drunk. But, for god’s sake, fix those damn boobs.’

They managed five minutes of peace for Clint to even himself out and get his boobs back in place, with Kate complimenting the construction of his suit. It was surprisingly well made for a costume he only planned on using once.

Unfortunately, five minutes was all they got. The door flew open, interrupting Kate in the middle of laughing at Bucky’s adamant refusal to accept kisses from Clint while he was dressed as her. Steve barged in, looking furious, with Tony following behind him, phone in hand and looking bored.

‘Buck, give me my fucking shield back,’ Steve yelled, advancing rapidly towards them.

Bucky danced backwards out of the way. ‘Language,’ he scolded.

‘I’ll show you fucking language you fucking ass! Give me the goddamn shield, dickface.’

‘No!’ Bucky whined. ‘I need it for the costume!’

Steve lunged again, and Bucky had just enough time to toss the shield to Clint before he found himself in a headlock. He missed the days when he could just hold Steve at arms length until he wore himself out.

Tony rolled his eyes at the both of them. ‘Steve, that thing is indestructible,’ he said, ignoring the wrestling going on in front of him. ‘He’s not exactly gonna break it. You’ve got about fifteen minutes to get your costume on before the party starts; let the shield go and get changed.’

Clint stared at them all from behind the shield, eyes wide with terror as Bucky saw him come to the realisation that Steve was probably going to come for him next. Bucky was also a super soldier. He could withstand whatever Steve decided to throw at him. Clint, on the other hand, was very squishy and human. Maybe this hadn't been the world’s best idea.

‘Steve!’ Tony huffed, ‘C’mon!’

Steve let go of Bucky and pouted at Tony, ‘But what if he chips the paint?!’

‘Then I’ll repaint it. We don’t have time for this. C’mon. Mush,’ he said, flapping his hands and herding Steve out of the kitchen.

Clint waited for Steve to disappear down the hall before turning to Bucky again. ‘Definitely do not ever tell him that my ass was on that thing while you were getting ready.’

Darcy and Kate both choked on their drinks, trying to keep from laughing.

‘I told you not to sit on it,’ Bucky said.

Clint shrugged. ‘When am I gonna get another chance to sit on Captain America’s actual shield?’ he asked philosophically. ‘Now, someone pass me some vodka, I’ve had a difficult afternoon.’


End file.
